Grief Thoughts

A friend of mine once rode on an airplane with famous journalist Mitch Albom. She asked him what advice he had for someone pursuing writing. His response? Simple, "Write about what you know."

Yesterday twenty-six people were murdered in a Connecticut Elementary School. Another senseless mass murder dropped at the doorstep of our hearts. I do not know the devastation of losing a loved one in a shooting. I do not know the personal struggle of mental illness or have a family member who suffers in such a way. But I do know loss and I do know death upfront and very personally.

My arms have been wrapped around my dead son's body and my lips have known the words leaving my mouth to tell a little sister, "Your brother has died and will not be coming home." I know the day our family was robbed of our young boy, the day we came home from the hospital without our child. I know the next day too when you wake up and the realization continues to hover over you that your son is dead. The day after and the day after that is the same. Your mind hears the words, sees the death, but your heart refuses to release its grip on the love of your life, the dreams you had.

You settle into shock because it is safer and easier to breath. And then the world goes on. But you are constantly barraged with reminders that your life will not go on as it did. The young sibling will not let you forget the truth. She bounces on her bed singing, "My brother is dead, my brother is dead." only to disappear into a closet sobbing that her brother is dead.

It is easier to look for the silver lining rather than allow the searing pain to enter our hearts and interrupt our lives. But it will enter and it will be ugly.

In a world of drive-thru everything we must not rush through the process of grieving the lost lives and seeking the face of God in the crucible of the horrific truth. There are no words to be flung out as if there was some fast way to heal the devastation. There are no answers to instantly be found to give us understanding.

There is a way to allow healing to begin though for the griever. If you want to be a friend to a griever...

Sit in silence.
Remember.
Cry.
Hold hands.
Pray.
Cry.
Write.
Remember.
Speak seldom.

Lastly, let the opportunity to go deeper into a broken heart not slip away and let God do the rest because He too had a child die.